Yawl, I have been busy. Navigating the dating world is hard work. Between being a super sexual woman and a hopeless romantic, the stories and shenanigans have been endless. These past few months to say the least have been very entertaining.
I am a self-declared hopeless romantic, as most of us HR’s are. I love, love. I love the thought of having an adventure partner. Having someone to send nudes and videos to that I can be goofy with as well. I even like the part where we get into an argument and we have some bomb makeup sex. I still believe in courting and holding hands and just being held on those warm summer nights. I still believe in showing someone you appreciate them. All that good stuff.
However, I also believe in being able to sleep with who I want and when I want. If my desires aren’t hurting anyone then I’m going to go about my day and do me. Having a conversation with a few woman in a group I’m in, who are also hopeless romantics and I was told that I couldn’t possibly be a hopeless romantic because I believe hookups/one-night stands, FB/FWB are ok.
Umm yes, I sure do believe they are ok. Would I prefer not to have FB, FWB or hookups or whatever you call them? Of course, but I also know that I enjoy sex. I enjoy the intimacy of it. I enjoy being pleased and pleasing others. I am all for not having sex if that’s not what you want. That is your choice. I took two years off from sex and dating and I believe I’m a better woman for it. It prepared me for this new age talking/dating/hookup life. So, I broke down my current situation to explain that yeah I’m a hopeless romantic but damnit I have needs too!
If you follow my post them you’ve read about Spartacus. He’s still in the picture but a few more players have been added. I swear I feel like my vagina sent out a beacon that I was having sex again once Spartacus and I made some decisions. Like ex’s and old FB came out of no where with the, “Hey where you been?” Then you add the new potentials. Whew!
Being a hopeless romantic I wanted things with Spartacus to be more and I didn’t want to sleep with anyone but him, but we talked and at this point I’m doing me. Its been fun. Like super fun and informative as well.
I literally had someone masturbate while they were talking to me! Umm, yes that happened lol. He asked permission. I didn’t watch because it was kind of weird, but it was kind of a turn on. I really just wanted to see his faces and it’s a kink. I know, I know. Shame me if you must. He’s a cutie but ain’t nothing coming from there.
I’ve been on a few dates, gotten some gifts, my gas tank has been filled and I’ve gotten some free “goodies” over last few months but I have yet to sleep with anyone of them but Spartacus. Ok, if I’m being honest … I haven’t had sex but I have let some of them make me cum. You know, for stress relief and what not. I just don’t see myself sleeping with anyone at this point unless we have a connection.
So, we have Magic Fingers (blessed by the Gods), Young Buck, Oldie but Goodie and Spartacus. There are a few randoms with potential so I’m excited about that. At this point I’m only sleeping with one and taking pleasure from some and entertaining myself with a few others until I find the one. My hookups don’t diminish the fact that I still believe in love or deserve romance.
I explained to them that I had spent so much time trying not to add numbers, getting over my abusive past, being in situationships and what not that at this point I’ve said, “Enough.” I just want to do what makes me happy. I want to enjoy spending time with who I want and how I want. Of course, I still want that fairytale happy ending and to be able to be someone’s support and reason to be better. I want to spoil someone’s son and be spoiled. I want consistent dick that comes with good conversation and some ugly laughs. None of that has changed. The only thing that has changed is my outlook. I used to think just like them. If that’s your mindset, then there is nothing wrong with that. It is, what it is.
But if being a hopeless romantic means being sad and putting my life on pause because I don’t have my prince charming, then I think I’m no longer a HR. Maybe I’m a modern-day HR. I honestly have no clue what category I fit into and I don’t care. Once you’ve reached the point in your life where being happy is all that matters, labels, negative people, mindsets, judgements and fears tend to just fade away.
So by all means strip me of that title. I’m still going to believe in love. I’m still going to want it and appreciate it when it comes. Long story short, the discussion ended with my vulgar ass comment of, “Girl bye. I’m still going to believe in love all while I’m still having sex and spending time with whomever I want. I’ma fuck‘em AND feed’em if I want too. You might need to get your back blown out to fix your attitude. “